The Radical Act of Choosing Alonespace
For years, I forced myself to do all the "right" things for my self care and particularly my need to clear my mind and have a way to shut the noise off.
I downloaded the mindfulness apps. I bought the yoga mat. I tried the guided meditations. I did breathwork… all the things. I did it because the wellness industry screams that this is what self-care looks like. If you aren't actively doing something to improve your mental state, you're failing at wellness. And that is very true for a lot of people, but not for everyone.
For me, it didn’t work. It was something else that I felt like I had to do and it made the whole process even more overwhelming and added to my anxiety.
If yoga, meditation, and wellness apps work for you, do it. That’s great and I wish it worked for me. But if you are like me and find yourself staring at a meditation app with anxiety, just know that it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can choose self-care that doesn't require you to actually do anything.
The Toxic Trap of Productive Self-Care
We live in a culture so obsessed with productivity that we’ve even commodified our downtime. We think that to relax properly, we need a 10-step routine, a specialized aesthetic, or an hour-long scheduled block of active mindfulness.
When you force yourself into wellness practices that don't align with who you are, you aren't decompressing, you're just going through the motions of relaxation and may not be reaping the full benefit of the self care that you need.
What works for me is something much simpler, cheaper, and more restorative: Doing absolutely nothing in a space by myself outside of my usual environment.
That is the entire philosophy behind why I built alonespace. It’s not a room designed for you to practice a complex routine. It’s a dedicated environment designed for you to stop performing, stop producing, and stop reacting to the world around you.
When you step into an alone space, the expectations drop to zero:
No goals. You aren't trying to achieve a higher state of consciousness or master a breathing technique.
No screens. You aren't processing anyone else's data, timelines, or opinions.
No performance. You don't have to be a boss, a caregiver, a partner, a parent, or a friend.
No input. You are just existing in a quiet room, entirely by yourself.
If you want to lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling, do it. If you want to sit in a chair and watch the dust motes dance in the light, do it.
Give Yourself Permission to do What Works for You
We are already overstimulated and exhausted by the sheer volume of things we have to manage every single day. The antidote to a crowded life isn't a crowded wellness routine, it’s making things simple and easier.
Give yourself permission to opt out of forcing yourself to what might work for other people but doesn’t work for you. Find what works for you. Find your alone space, close the door, and do absolutely nothing. Your body and your brain will thank you for it.
Deanna
